Have you ever been told to keep your head down, work hard, and let your good work speak for itself? It sounds like solid advice. It’s also, according to Kingsley Aikins, pretty much the worst career guidance you can get.
In this episode of Difference Makers Discuss, host Sinéad Donovan sits down with Kingsley Aikins, author of Networking Matters (published by Chartered Accountants Ireland), founder of the iconic Lansdowne Club in Sydney, and the man who spent 21 years building one of the world’s great philanthropic networks for Ireland. The conversation is warm, honest, and packed with practical wisdom that will make you rethink how you approach your career and your connections.
From Rugby Pitches to the Waldorf Astoria
Kingsley’s story is a masterclass in the unexpected power of relationships. From playing rugby for Leinster to landing in Sydney not knowing a single soul, to running a dinner for 12 people that became the largest Irish business network in any city in the world — his journey is proof that putting yourself out there, even imperfectly, changes everything.
He even wrote a cold letter to Tony O’Reilly — one of Ireland’s most powerful business figures at the time — and was invited to lunch. That lunch turned into a 21-year career running the Ireland Funds, raising hundreds of millions of dollars for projects across the island of Ireland. Not bad for ‘just’ networking.
Key Takeaways from the Episode
- Good work doesn’t speak. People do.
Good work doesn’t speak – other people speak. If nobody knows how you’re contributing to your organisation or your profession, they move on to someone else. That’s not pessimism – it’s just how the world works. - The two most important words in your career: Other People.
You’ll never get a job unless other people agree to it. You’ll never win a client unless other people agree to it. Your career is fundamentally a relationship business and yet schools and colleges almost never teach us how to nurture those relationships. - Networking is about giving, not getting.
Approaching networking as a transaction – What can I get? – is obvious and off-putting. The real approach is simpler: How can I help? - Introverts can be better networkers than extroverts.
This one surprises people every time. But Kingsley’s argument is compelling: introverts ask better questions, listen more genuinely, and engage with decency and authenticity. - Hard skills get you on the ladder. Soft skills get you up it.
This is a theme that will resonate with anyone in the profession. Technical skills are essential – they get you in the door. But the things that drive careers forward: listening, curiosity, communication, resilience, humour – these are harder to quantify and almost never formally taught. - You can make your own luck.
Luck and serendipity don’t happen sitting at your desk. They happen when you’re in motion, when you talk to strangers, when you put your talents on display.
Why Watch This Episode?
Whether you’ve always been uncomfortable at networking events, or you’ve been doing it for years on autopilot, this conversation with Kingsley Aikins will give you a completely fresh way of thinking about it. It’s funny, it’s grounded in real experience, and it’s full of genuinely actionable ideas.
